10 More Books I Recommend for Motherless Daughters

Over twenty thousand readers have visited my 2017 blog post “10 Books I Recommend for Motherless Daughters” in search of books they might relate to, stories to inspire, guide and/or comfort them as they make their way in the world without their mother. Over 20,000 (and counting)!!! Gasp! This is only a small portion of people who have experienced grief, and yet it is a huge number. Of course I’m deeply sorry that readers are going through a difficult, perhaps lonely and confusing time, but I’m glad you found my blog. May these writers inspire, comfort and guide you. Be gentle with your heart and I hope you enjoy these books as much as I have.

Readers who have come upon my blog posts have expressed gratitude for the book suggestions I’ve shared, e.g. by authors such as Hope Edelman, Claire Bidwell Smith and Cheryl Strayed. It has been a few years since that particular blog post and in the interim more books have been published on the topic of mother loss. A few oldies came to my attention recently too, and I’m excited to share ten of my favorites here. Some of these books specifically address childhood grief while others discuss the loss of either parent or a close family member. I’m creating this blog post specifically with mother loss in mind.

This month is Children’s Grief Awareness month designed to draw awareness towards the needs of grieving children. Grieving children often go unnoticed. It appears they are thriving and in some instances they are but children who have lost a parent or sibling carry a burden many people have no idea how to address. Check out the book list below and visit these websites here and here for more information on children’s grief, and here for an organization which supports girls whose mothers have died. Check out these websites for support and advice on mother loss and the grief journey.

1. Dancing at the Pity Party by Tyler Feder

A unique and relatable graphic novel on mother loss. Tyler was a teenager when her mother fell ill and died. If you don’t already, follow Tyler on Instagram now. Her clever and colorful illustrations are poignant, humorous and brilliant.

2. The Art of Reassembly by Peg Conway

When a young mother dies, leaving behind three little children & a spouse, everything changes in the blink of an eye. Peg was only 7 when her mom died & as I read these pages my heart broke for the author, her nurturing mom and Peg’s family. Losing a mother early in life creates many challenges and Peg shares her challenges with us in an honest, open and direct way. Her vulnerability offers many truths, truths that usually aren’t spoken aloud. The Art of Reassembly will be published on November 9, 2021 just in time for Children’s Grief Awareness day, and look at that gorgeous cover!

3. The AfterGrief by Hope Edelman

The Aftergrief is packed with stories, knowledge, useful new grief terms and insights about the long arc of loss. It is an easy and pleasant read. By quoting many experts in the field of bereavement and conducting extensive interviews with people who experienced grief in the past, the author shows us the various ways grief can surprise us, guide us, upset us and possibly even help us, as we make our way in life following a significant loss. Another gem by Hope Edelman.

4. Never the Same: Coming to Terms with the Death of a Parent by Donna Schuurman, the Senior Director of Advocacy & Training at Dougy Center.

“Many kids following a death experience difficulty concentrating or find themselves disinterested in school as well as other activities they once enjoyed. This makes a lot of sense to me. How interesting can academics be when you’ve just buried your father? How relevant can math feel when your mother just died?”

I SO relate to this & have shared stories on podcast interviews about my frustrated school teachers upset that, only a week after burying my mother, I couldn’t focus on my maths equations!

5. Memorial Drive by Natasha Trethewey

A unique and beautifully written memoir about mother loss, grief, domestic violence, race, misogyny and family. This memoir broke my heart. An important and powerful story.

6. The Loss that is Forever by Maxine Harris

Maxine Harris, an esteemed clinical psychologist, examines the lifelong impact of the early death of a mother or father. Harris explores the impact this loss has on every aspect of adult growth and development. For a child who loses a parent “Love and loss are no longer separate and distinct.” There is often “delayed mourning and a release of feelings that have been locked away for many years.” And this resonates personally for me: “the individual engages in a creative act or a life project that seems directly related to the loss and represents an attempt to master the experience of early trauma.” This might be why I’ve been so compelled to write my memoir BRIEFLY I KNEW MY MOTHER.

7. Tell Me More by Kelly Corrigan

This beauty really surprised me. I bought it because, well I love everything Kelly Corrigan writes, but I’d no idea how much the stories would resonate. Themes covered beautifully in this book are loss, love, grief, childhood grief, mother loss and ovarian cancer. I cried more reading this book than I have in a long time. It’s full of hard truths, deep insights and gentle reminders.

8. Garden of Grief by Lori Koidahl

Lori wrote this book in memory of her mother whom she was particularly close to and who was killed tragically by a reckless driver while waiting to cross the street. This book reminds us all of the preciousness of life, the tragedies that might suddenly befall us and the ways Lori fought to keep her mother’s memory alive. The chapter related to careless driving was informative, upsetting and eye-opening. We have a lot of work to do to keep our communities safe and responsible driving plays a huge part.

9. Dear Edward by Ann Napolitano

A different kind of book, with the storyline based on a plane crash resulting in the death of everyone but a young boy who must now forge ahead without his beloved mother, father and brother. This one is fiction.

10. A Kid’s Book About Death by Taryn Schuelke

This one is for children who have experienced loss, are terminally ill themselves or are curious about what death means. Suitable for ages 5+ this book is written by a grief and bereavement specialist at Texas Children’s Hospital and explores what death is and how it makes us feel. We want to avoid such discussions with children but it’s important to be open and honest and Taryn guides readers in a simple, beautiful way. “Remember that life is like a story. Just because the book closes doesn’t mean you forget what the story was or the way it made you feel.”

I’m preparing to query my own memoir on early mother loss, after over six years of writing and editing. The title is Briefly I Knew My Mother and it tells the story of my youth in Ireland, growing up with a terminally ill but determined and loving mother, a supportive, kind father, school teachers who had no idea of how to communicate with an anxious and (at eleven years old) grieving child and my eventual move to Portland, Oregon.

Visit my Instagram page here or my Goodreads page for more information on each of these gorgeous books, listed below in no particular order.

Carmel X

Like or follow my public Facebook page here where I frequently post articles, quotes & information about mother loss, grief and the writing process.

Carmel Breathnach is a freelance writer and former elementary school teacher, born in Ireland and living in Portland, Oregon. She holds a B.A. degree in English literature and Irish language studies from NUI Maynooth, and a Diploma in Education from St. Patrick’s College, Dublin. Carmel writes on the themes of childhood mother loss, grief and gratitude. Her work has appeared in The Irish Times, Huffington Post, Upworthy, Scary Mommy, Voice Catcher, Modern Loss and Pendemic.ie, as well as in the anthology Hidden Lights published by Golden Dragonfly Press. Carmel is currently working on a memoir about mother loss titled Briefly I Knew My Mother.